I’ve started to notice the effects of Bar Review on my life, and my personality, already. Maybe it has to do with moving also, but I think it’s mainly the effects of the stress and overwhelming feelings I’ve had.
A day in the life: Wake up at 6am, shower (this is the part that may give in to sleep), leave the house by 6:45. Stop at Einstein’s and/or Starbucks for a bagel and coffee. Drive 25 minutes to the park and ride for the light rail. Get on the train 7:30ish. Spend about 45 minutes on the train reviewing Barbri lecture notes until I arrive in Tempe at ASU (ew). Walk to the law school. Check emails, review notes, etc. before class begins at 9. Lecture 9-12/1ish. Library to study. Train back to the West side of town. Starbucks for more studying. Home for a break and finishing up the studying. Rinse and repeat.
I don’t know if it’s the long days, the boredom of certain lecture topics or a general lack of motivation, but this whole process is a struggle. I consistently am searching for distractions through gchatting and texting my friends, especially the ones in NY. The 3 hour time difference is a little difficult though.
This is where I’ve noticed the effects of me turning into more of a brat than I ever have been before. I try to schedule a time to video chat and everyone just seems too busy. I then have the takeover of the monster and think “If I am trying to make time for YOU while studying for the bar, there’s nothing YOU can’t possibly sacrifice to say hi for a few minutes.” It doesn’t matter that you answer my texts and gchat me during the day, I want to video chat or talk on the phone and I want to do it NOW. Stop working, stop sleeping, stop dating. Focus on me.
The other day I was gchatting and said “Can we facetime later? I miss you and need a light at the end of the tunnel.” I was feeling particularly overwhelmed and in a state of despair this day. My friend’s response in a series of short messages was something like “awww boo. Today not a good a day. And skype will be better I won’t have good wifi to face time.” Now you may read this and think there is absolutely nothing wrong, and there isn’t. However, my reaction was WHAT! What do you mean not a good day? Not a good day to chat with me? What could you possibly be doing that you can’t take the time for?! Don’t you miss me? Am I not important to you? Doooon’t worry I had this reaction to myself, fought back tears because how could you tell me no?, and then responded “Did you mean not a good day to video chat or were you asking if it wasn’t a good day for me?” Turns out it was the latter. Can we say overreaction on my part? The monster has reared it’s head! I just don’t want to be forgotten. And, of course, when my brain hurts from hours of studying it’s nice to have a friendly face of someone who can understand what long hours of studying are like and also provide a distraction for 1/2 an hour to chit chat.
But seriously, if I can make time for you this summer you sure as hell can make time for me!
itsadifferentkindofbarnow 